I�ve had such a stressful month. It�s been stressful to the point where I�m so upset and worrying about everything, that even though I�m going through this, I haven�t had the chance to properly cry or take out my emotions.

The last time I cried was when I heard my dad was in the hospital a couple weeks ago. I called Cassie in complete hysterics. She probably thought I was a crazy that peeps through her window at night. : )

But two weeks ago, my mom and I rushed my dad to the emergency room at 6:30 in the morning. I distinctly remember wanting to burst into tears during the car ride, but I had to stay strong. My mom isn�t the strongest person in the world, and she needed someone like me to be brave and keep her chin up for her.

It was just so unbelievably upsetting to see my dad sitting there in the tacky hospital get up, with IV�s hooked up to his arm, and hooked up to all those machines.

I was so scared. I don�t remember being so scared ever in my life. I was just thinking all these crazy thoughts. I remember praying to the G-man, pleading with him and asking him to not erase my dad from my life just yet.

I want to be able to hug him on my sixteenth birthday. I want him to be there at my graduation when he sees my walk down the isle in a different color robe because I�m top 4%. I want him to be there on my wedding day when we do our father daughter jig. I just want him there.

This experience has been completely upsetting, but it has showed me how important everyone whom I live in my life is. I need to start living each day to my fullest. I need to start living again. I need to start spending more time with my parents, and talking to my family, the Holly Berry, and the Cassinator on the phone more often. I�m terrible with that.

My dad is all right though. He just needs to get a 15,000 dollar gallbladder surgery. Only 15,000...ONLY! Where am we going to get $15,000, you ask? I don't know. Thank Jesus my dad's all right. Now if only Jesus could write a check...

I'm also stressed about the upcoming Golden Nole Awards, which are the Student Choice Awards at my school. It is where students get to elect their favorite teacher's and recognize them. I can't find a dress. I need to buy one. I'm not the skinniest girl in the world, so it's very difficult for me to find something I like.

Hence, why that is the number one reason why I hate shopping.

Distress is just so darn...stressfull.

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� Danielley