I didn�t want to write anything in my diary about this since I wasn�t to sure it was going to happen. But yet, today, it has turned from a maybe to a definite yes.

So many thoughts are racing through my head. I�m angry, upset, but most of all�feeling very melancholy about the whole situation.

My cousin, Sammy has decided to join the army. I guess I should be proud of him since this is something he supposedly has been wanting to do for a while�but, I don�t know.

So many things could go extremely wrong, and in the end, I could be losing my favorite cousin.

I know he has consistently thought about it, but I just don�t think he realizes what he is getting himself into. He will have to make so many sacrifices in his life. The major reason why he is joining the army is because that him and my aunt Beth don�t have enough money for him to go to college.

Hello�scholarships�student loans? They do exist you know.

It wasn�t supposed to be like this.

He was supposed to become a professional baseball player and show off those amazing skills he has. He wasn�t supposed to sell his freaking soul to the army and become their lap dog.

I don�t know how to really state what I am feeling. I�m so angry, so sad�it�s just that�he�s like the big brother I never had. I just don�t want anything to happen to him. He�s my cousin and I love him.

I don't know what to do. Support him? Ignore him?

It wasn't supposed to end up like this...it wasn't supposed to be like this. Then why is it?

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� Danielley